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• My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that's what she said.
• Fry: "Hey, my girlfriend had one of those. Actually, it wasn't her's, it was her dad's.
  Actually, she wasn't my girlfriend, she just lived next door and never closed her curtains....
• My girlfriend cut me off. Should I dump her?!*&$#(@^&NO MARYER
• My girlfriend got crabs so I bought her fishnet stockings.
• My girlfriend wanted to see the world, so I bought her an atlas.
• My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes. -- Emo Philip
• Meet my latest girlfriend, said Geordi unsteadily.
• My girlfriend asked me how long I was going to be gone on this tour.
  I said, "the whole time." -- Steven Wrigh...
• I remember the first time I picked up my girlfriend at her parents' place.
  Her father said to me, "Make sure you have my daughter home by midnight....