Related:

• Long pause, sound of phone dropping, sleepy voice:) Argh!
  (Pause.) Hello... (Sound of phone dropping, then a yawn....
• Hello, you have reached dial an unpopular luncheon meat, I am pimento loaf, leave me a message.
  -- Answering machine madness - befuddle the calle...
• Hello, this is Ron. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message.
  Hang on a second while I get a pencil. (Open a drawer and shuffle stuff around....
• Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now.
  Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back....
• Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone.
  Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it....
• Knock, knock. (Pause. Caller thinks, "Who's there?
  ) Isn't that *my* question? (Pause.) Please leave a message....
• Hello, this is David. I don't live here, so if you were trying to call me, you've dialed the wrong number.
  On the other hand, if you were trying to call John, Jim, or Eric, please leave your name and number at the tone....
• Hello. All of our operators are busy right now, but if you'll leave your name, telephone number, a brief message, and the time you called, we'll get back to you as soon as possible.
  Thank you and have a pleasant day. (This can dissuade prank and sales callers who don't know it's really a private line....
• Loud heavy-metal music in background; raspy voice:) Hello, this is the executioner.
  Joe can't come to the phone right now because he's DEAD!...