Related:

• I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 50 miles per hour?
  '. So I said, 'oh, that's OK, I'm not going that far.'. -- Stephen Wrigh...
• I was driving down the street at 100 miles per hour for no reason.
  The police stopped me for speeding. They said, "Why were you going so fast?...
• Bart: Mrs. Krabappel, Mrs. Krabappel! Mrs K: Bart!
  Not another word out of you, or I'll subject you to the humiliation of making you sing in front of the class....
• A feed salesman is on his way to a farm. As he's driving along at forty m.
  p.h., he looks out his car window and sees a three-legged chicken running alongside him, keeping pace with his car....
• I was going 70 miles an hour and got stopped by a cop who said, "Do you know the speed limit is 55 miles per hour?
  Yes, officer, but I wasn't going to be out that long..." -- Steven Wrigh...
• Emo Phillips was pulled over in Massachusetts for reckless driving.
  When brought before the judge, Emo was asked if he knew what the punishment for drunk driving in that state was....
• You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour.
  You are not allowed to walk across a street on your hands....
• Back-seat driving is a form of duel control. -- Alan F. G. Lewi
• Wiggum: You! Big Daddy: Welcome to my maison, Chief.
  I've been expecting you. Wiggum: Is that so, Big Daddy?...