Related:

• Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now.
  Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until I call you back....
• Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone.
  Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it....
• Hello, this is Ron. I'm not home right now, but I can take a message.
  Hang on a second while I get a pencil. (Open a drawer and shuffle stuff around....
• Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like.
  Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you....
• If this were the best of all possible worlds, I could come to the phone right now, but I can't, so if you could leave your name and number.
  .. -- Answering machine madness - can't answer right now because......
• This is Clovis' answering machine. Clovis is committing sodomy right now.
  Please call back in an hour, when, I regret to inform you, you may receive the same message....
• I can't come to the phone now, so if, well, actually
  I CAN come to the phone now, I mean, like, I'm at the phone NOW, recording this message, but I'm doing this NOW, while you're listening to it LATER, except for you I guess it's NOW, like, when you're listening to it....
• This is Alan. Leave me a message and tell me what I can do to.
  .. I mean, do FOR you. -- Answering machine madness - playing with the calle...
• I can't come to the phone now because alien beings are eating my brain.
  Leave a message anyway, and after the alien beings assume my shape, one of them will get back to you....