This is Clovis' answering machine. Clovis is committing sodomy right now.

Related:

• Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone.
  Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon...
• Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like.
  Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's...
• Hi, this is Jim. Sorry I can't take your call but I'm playing my guitar too loud to hear the phone ring.
  Please leave me a message and I'll call you back at...
• We're not in cause we're out LOOTING! Leave a message and we'll call you back and tell you what we got.
  Answering machine madness - can't answer right now...
• Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now.
  Leave a message, and then wait by your phone until...
• I'm unable to take your call in person because I'm having an out-of-the-body experience.
  In fact I'm standing right behind you and I can hear...
• I can't come to the phone now because alien beings are eating my brain.
  Leave a message anyway, and after the alien beings...
• You have reached 843-4734. Please hold while I process your call.
  (Pause.) Our extremely sophisticated computer system...
• Hello, I'm not here right now. In fact, I'm out getting a new parakeet.
  If you leave a message after the beep, I'll be sure...