Related:

• People laugh when I say that I think a jellyfish is one of the most beautiful things in the world.
  What they don't understand is, I mean a jellyfish with long, blond hair....
• If you want to be the most popular person in your class, whenever the professor pauses in his lecture, just let out a big snort and say "How do you figger that!
  eal loud. Then lean back and sort of smirk. -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• I can see why it would be prohibited to throw most things off the top of the Empire State Building, but what's wrong with little bits of cheese?
  They probably break down into their various gases before they even hit....
• You know what would be the most terrifying thing that could ever happen to a flea?
  Getting caught inside a watch somehow. You don't even care, do you....
• It's amazing to me that one of the world's most feared diseases would be carried by one of the world's smallest animal
  he real tiny dog. -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money.
  And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy....
• It's fascinating to think that all around us there's an invisible world we can't even see.
  I'm speaking, of course, of the World of the Invisible Scary Skeletons....
• If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most?
  I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong though....
• Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...