Related:

• Those restaurants where they serve chicken croquettes!
  Leftovers I can eat at home. -- Selma Diamond...
• I hereby declare this day to be Snow Day, the funnest day in the history of Springfield!
  -- Diamond Joe Quimby, "Bart Gets an F...
• A lot of schools around New York keep sending school reporters to interview me.
  So this girl comes over from a girls' college the other day and she says, "How old should a girl be before she goes to a prom in a strapless dress?...
• Dog owners are out in all kinds of weather. They tell you it's small payment for the love their dogs bear them.
  Some love. If that dog weren't on a leash, he'd be off like a flash after another dog, a cat, or any stranger walking along the street with a wet bag of meat....
• Why is there an Easter Bunny and not an Easter Chicken?
• Crusing for chicks on the information superhighway...
• GMC: Get More Chick
• In Ohio, if you ignore an orator on Decoration day to such an extent as to publicly play croquet or pitch horseshoes within one mile of the speaker's stand, you can be fined $
  25.00....