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• Good news, everyone." -Professor "Uh oh. I don't like the sound of that.
  Bender "You'll be making a delivery to the planet Trisaw....
• Professor: "Good news, everyone, the university is bringing me up on disclipinary charges.
  Wait, that's not good news at all....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Professor: "Good news, everyone. Several years ago I tried to log onto AOL, and it just went through.
  Whee! We're online....
• I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.
  -- An English Professor, Ohio University...
• I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.
  -- English Professor, Ohio University...
• I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top.
  -- Professor Lowd, English, Ohio University...
• ART NEWS The art world was rocked yesterday at the announcement of Professor Hans Von Fabre of the discovery of a new primary colour.
  The fourth primary colour, to be known as hans, will revolutionise art and technology all over the world....