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1) The integral of the gravitational potential taken

around any loop trail you choose to hike always comes

out positive.

2) Any stone in your boot always migrates against the

pressure gradient to exactly the point of most

pressure.

3) The weight of your pack increases in direct

proportion to the amount of food you consume from it.

If you run out of food, the pack weight goes on

increasing anyway.

4) The number of stones in your boot is directly

proportional to the number of hours you have been on

the trail.

5) The difficulty of finding any given trail marker is

directly proportional to the importance of the

consequences of failing

to find it.

6) The size of each of the stones in your boot is

directly proportional to the number of hours you have

been on the trail.

7) The remaining distance to your chosen campsite

remains constant as twilight approaches.

8) The net weight of your boots is proportional to the

cube of the number of hours you have been on the

trail.

9) When you arrive at your chosen campsite, it is full.

10) If you take your boots off, you'll never get them

back on again.

11) The local density of mosquitos is inversely

proportional to your remaining repellent.

- The number of stones in your boot is directly proportional to the
number of hours you have been on the trail.

-- Milt Barbe... - The net weight of your boots is proportional to the cube of the number
of hours you have been on the trail.

-- Milt Barbe... - The weight of your pack increases in direct proportion to the amount
of food you consume from it.

If you run out of food, the pack weight goes on increasing anyway. -- Milt Barbe... - The difficulty of finding any given trail marker is directly proportional
to the importance of the consequences of failing to find it.

-- Milt Barbe... - The integral of the gravitational potential taken around any loop
trail you choose to hike always comes out positive.

-- Milt Barbe... - Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient
to exactly the point of most pressure.

-- Milt Barbe...