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• I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved. -- George Gobel
• I GUESS OF ALL MY UNCLES, I liked Uncle Caveman the best.
  We called him Uncle Caveman because he lived in a cave and because sometimes he'd eat one of us....
• I guess of all my uncles, I liked Uncle Cave Man the best.
  We called him Uncle Cave Man because he lived in a cave and because sometimes he'd eat one of us....
• If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
  -- George Gobel (1920-1991)...
• The whole world is a tuxedo and you are a pair of brown shoes. -- George Gobel
• My dad was the town drunk. A lot of times that's not so bad - but New York City?
• Tally ho, pip-pip, and Bernard's your Uncle...! ...
  In English we say, 'Good morning'... -- George and Edmund : Captain Cook...
• My uncle got a job driving a cab. He had the cab parked right in front of Grand Central Station, and an Episcopal bishop got into my uncle's cab.
  He said, "Take me to Christ Church." So my uncle took him up to St....