Related:

• Did you ever feel like the whole world was a tuxedo and you were a pair of brown shoes?
  -- George Gobel...
• You can lead a horse to water, but before you push him in, just stop and think how a wet horse smells.
  -- George Gobel...
• You have to visit 11 shoe stores before you find a pair of shoes that fit.
• My whole freshman year I wore brown and white shoes.
  Actually they were impractical, because the white one kept getting dirty. -- Dick Cave...
• If you are wearing one brown and one black shoe, you have a pair like it somewhere in the closet.
  -- The Rule of Elderly Survival...
• If it weren't for electricity, we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
  -- George Gobel (1920-1991)...
• I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved. -- George Gobel