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• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Marge: I knew this would happen. I put you on the jury and you vote for the stupidest film.
  Homer: I have every right to be on that jury, even though I got there because I'm sleeping with the head of the festival....
• A woman went into a hospital one day to give birth.
  Afterwards, the doctor came to her and said, "I have some....
• Ned: Calm down, Neddly diddily diddily diddily, doodily.
  They did their best shodaiddily iddily iddily diddily diddily....
• One day I got on the usual bus, and when I stepped in, I saw the most gorgeous blond Chinese girl.
  ..I sat beside her. I said, "Hi," and she said, "Hi," and then I said, "Nice day, isn't it?...
• I have a box of telephone rings under my bed. Whenever I get lonely, I open it up a little bit, and I get a phone call.
  One day I dropped the box all over the floor. The phone wouldn't stop ringing....
• Joey: All right. [gets up] Monica: [stopping him] No!
  Joey, we swore we'd never tell! Chandler: [running over and joining Monica] They'll never understand!...
• I was out in the backyard one beautiful day. I said to my mother, "Mama, why don't I have no sister or no brother?
  She said, "Go away, go play, don't worry your mother, dear....
• A man sank into the psychiatrist's couch and said, "I have a terrible problem, Doctor.
  I have a son at Harvard and another son at Princeto...