Related:

• One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my way around.
  I made a sandwich and took fifty pictures of my face....
• All the plants in my house are dead -- I shot them last night.
  I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. -- Stephen Wrigh...
• ame Bart |\name The Fe-mail-man
  Lady, where's my spy camera. | : Where's my spy camera?...
• Last night sex was so good the neighbors lit cigarettes.
• I used to live in a house by the freeway. When I went anywhere, I had to be going 65 MPH by the end of my driveway.
  I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights....
• A cop stopped me for speeding. He said, 'Why were you going so fast?
  ' I said, 'See this thing my foot is on? It's called an accelerator....
• I used to live in a house by the freeway. When I went anywhere, I had to be going 65 MPH by the end of my driveway.
  -- Steven Wrigh...
• All the plants in my house are dead---I shot them last night.
  I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. -- Steven Wrigh...
• I was drunk last night, crawled home across the lawn.
  By accident I put the car key in the door lock. The house started up....