All the plants in my house are dead -- I shot them last night.

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• All the plants in my house are dead---I shot them last night.
  I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes...
• I like to torture my plants by watering them with ice
  cubes...
• For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier.
  I put them in the same room and let them fight it out...
• My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep,
  I go over there and write misspelled words on them...
• I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took and to the Gift Wrap department and told them to wrap it,
  but in a different print so he would know when to stop...
• I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them.
  Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. ...
• My house is made out of balsa wood. When no one is home across the street,
  except the little kids, I go out and lift my house...
• Last night I stayed up all night playing poker with Tarot cards.
  I got a full house and four people died. -- Steven...