Related:

• A five-year-old kid raised his hand at school. The teacher declined to let him leave the room.
  Five minutes later she reversed herself. She said, "All right, Sonny, you may go now....
• I got into an elevator at work and this man followed in after me.
  .. I pushed '1' and he just stood there... I said 'Hi, where you going?...
• A woman came to ask the doctor if a woman should have children after 35.
  I said 35 children is enough for any woman! -- Gracie Alle...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• I met this girl very aggressively ... I just walked up to her and I said, "Who are you?
  I have to know who you are!" It's a good opener, but you can't sustain that level of excitement....
• I was in a bar and I walked up to a beautiful woman and said, "Do you live around here often?
  She said, "You're wearing two different-color socks....
• The gas-station attendant looks at the car and says, "You got a flat tire.
  I said, "No, the other three just swelled up." -- Bill Engval...
• I'm staying in a strange hotel. I called room service for a sandwich and they sent up two hookers.
  -- Bill Mahe...
• Florence Flask was ... dressing for the opera when she turned to her husband and screamed, "Erlenmeyer!
  My joules! Someone has stolen my joules!" "Now, now, my dear," replied her husband, "keep your balance and reflux a moment....