Related:

• My wife and I were in Las Vegas. My wife called down and asked for room service--and a half hour later they send up a table and a dealer.
  Of course, my wife doesn't gamble, so she sent the table back....
• I think the funniest stuff comes from the heaviest stuff. -- Bill Mahe
• The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid.
  Girls got pinned--not nailed. -- Bill Mahe...
• I pulled into this town called Weedpatch. I check into the Weedpatch Hotel
  they give me a Key magazine with all the events going on in town, I open it up--there's a picture of me checking into the Weedpatch Hotel....
• Bill Paley just walked into my dressing room with two bottles of champagne and opened them up and said, "Let's have a drink.
  Bottoms up." And I said to him, "Isn't that an awkward position?" -- Gracie Alle...
• I knew it. I knew it. Born in a hotel room - and God damn it - died in a hotel room.
  ~~ Eugene O'Neill, writer, d. November 27, 1953...
• Herb: [rolls a 3] Ventnor Avenue. Lisa: And while on Ventnor Avenue, you'll be staying at the fabulous Hotel Lisa.
  A valet will be around shortly to park your thimble....
• When I was in high school the worst thing you could ever get was VD.
  Talk about the sniffles! I just want to meet an old-fashioned girl with gonorrhea....
• My hotel room is so small that when I die they won't have to put me in a casket.
  They'll just put handles on the room. -- Herb Shrine...