I BET WHAT HAPPENED was they discovered fire and invented the wheel on
the same day. Then that night, they burned the wheel.
-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.
the same day. Then that night, they burned the wheel.
-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.
Related:
- I THINK MAN INVENTED THE CAR by instinct.
-- Jack Handley,
The New Mexican, 1988... - I THINK THEY SHOULD CONTINUE the policy of not giving a Nobel Prize for
paneling.
Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988... - IF I HAD A MINE SHAFT, I don't think I would just abandon it.
There's got to be a better way. -- Jack Handley,... - I WISH I HAD A KRYPTONITE CROSS, because then you could keep both Dracula
and Superman away.
Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988... - I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always
end up saying,
"Don't forget the thick heavy brows." Then they would... - I GUESS I KINDA LOST CONTROL because in the middle of the play I ran up
and lit the evil puppet villain on fire.
No, I didn't. Just kidding. I just said that to illustrate... - I THINK THERE SHOULD BE SOMETHING in science called the "reindeer effect."
I don't know what it would be,
but I think it'd be good to hear someone say, "Gentlemen... - ONE THING KIDS LIKE is to be tricked. For instance,
I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland... - I DON'T THINK I'M ALONE when I say I'd like to see more and more planets
fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system.
Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988...
From the same category:
- I knew peace until I found Thalia.
<G<... - Yeah, I got a modem, a real fast one too,
it's a 300bps... - I shall never ask, never refuse, never resign nor ever not run for re-election.
Poor Jimmy's... - The Lord God is subtle, but malicious he is not.
-
Albert... - The history of art is the history of revivals.
--
Samuel Butler...
