Related:

• SOMETIMES THE BEAUTY OF THE WORLD is so overwhelming, I just want to throw back my head and gargle.
  Just gargle and gargle and I don't care who hears me because I am beautiful....
• I like to press wild flowers.
• I DON'T THINK I'M ALONE when I say I'd like to see more and more planets fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system.
  -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988....
• MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me.
  I remember we'd all get into the car -- I forget what kind it was -- and drive and drive....
• I THINK MAN INVENTED THE CAR by instinct. -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.
• I THINK THEY SHOULD CONTINUE the policy of not giving a Nobel Prize for paneling.
  -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988....
• I told her, "Like (*&^%$# you are!
• O When the lady smiles, You know it drives me wild =`\&l
  Her lips are warm and resourcefull, (=)/(=) When the lady smiles, I cannot resist her call And as a matter of fact, I don't resist at all....
• I BET WHEN NEANDERTHAL KIDS would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick heavy brows.
  Then they would get embarrassed because they remembered they had the big hunky brows too, and they'd get mad and eat the snowman....