Related:

• Oh, fuck! You did it just like I told you to!
• My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes. -- Emo Philip
• Doughnuts? I told you I don't like ethnic food! -- Mr.
  Burns, commenting on Homer's breakfast, "Homer the Smithe...
• I told you I was ill. -- Written on grave
• On a tombstone: I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK
• I told the truth Lord! How can I learn any moral lesson if you keep confusing me like this.
  -- Philipe The Mouse, "Ladyhawke...
• Yo momma so old I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died.
• A woman was out driving with her husband. She was speeding along at about fifty.
  Suddenly a motorcycle cop appeared alongside and told her to pull over....
• A Betazoid woman, when she goes through this phase, quadruples her sex drive.
  "Or more." Or more? You never told me that. "I didn't want to frighten you....