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• For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.
  -- Johnny Carso...
• For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.
  -- Johnny Carso...
• Nancy Reagan fell down and broke her hair. -- Johnny Carso
• Let a baby's hair and fingernails grow until their 1st birthday.
• Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.
  -- Johnny Carso...
• So after today, Germans can go into any country they want.
  ...Say, wasn't that the problem in 1939? -- Johnny Carso...
• Funnier than Johnny Carson, but then again, who isn't?
• When turkeys mate, they think of swans. -- Johnny Carso