Related:

• Code of Honor: Never approach a friend's girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal.
  There are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior....
• Never be possessive. If a female friend lets on that she is going out with another man, be kind and understanding.
  If she says she would like to go out with the Dallas Cowboys, including the coaching staff, the same rule applies....
• Never let your wife or girlfriend watch I Spit on Your Grave.
• Never join with your friend when he abuses his horse or his wife, unless the one is about to be sold, and the other to be buried.
  -- Colto...
• Many a wife thinks her husband is the world's greatest lover. But she can never catch him at it.
• Bart: Mom, what if there's a really bad crummy guy who's going to jail but I know he's innocent?
  Marge: Well, Bart, your uncle Arthur used to have a saying...
• Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. -- P. J. O'Rourke
• FORTRAN - Your grey-haired grandmother. People make fun of her just because she is old, but if you take the time to listen, you can learn from her experiences and her mistakes.
  During her lifetime she has acquired many useful skills in sewing and cooking (subroutine libraries) That no younger women can match, so be thankful she is still around....