Related:

• My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
  -- Answering machine madness - family fu...
• Kazoo band playing "Thus Spake Zarathustra":) Thinking you were making an ordinary phone call, you have instead reached.
  .. (TA-DAAAAA!) the ANSWERING MACHINE! Leave your name and number, and we will get back to you as soon as we can....
• Raiders of the Lost Ark" in background:) You've reached the residence of John and Tom.
  We can't come to the phone right now, because we're cleaning the refrigerator....
• Hello, this is the Brown residence. We're in the middle of a family fight right now.
  Leave your name and number at the beep and whoever wins will call you right back....
• The President is not in his office at this time. Please leave your name, phone number, the name of the country you wish to invade, and the secret password.
  -- Answering machine madness - authority figure...
• Ahhhhhhhhh... ahhhhhhhhhh... (Heavy breathing sounds, like an obscene phone call.
  ) Oh, nuts, YOU called ME! Sorry. Never mind. Leave your name and number at the beep....
• Loud sounds of a massive battle; calm voice:) Hello!
  Due to the breakdown in the 452nd truce, the inhabitants of village 286-3589 are cowering in their bomb shelters....
• Demented, screechy voice; occasional background scream
  ) Hello. Thank you for calling Last Straw Chiropractic....
• You have reached the Strategic Air Command Nuclear Missile Storage Facility.
  We are unable to come to the phone right now. At the tone, please leave your name, number, and target or list of targets, and we'll launch as soon as we can....