Related:

• You will be reincarnated as a toad; and you will be much happier.
• Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
• This button isn't really very witty and it runs on and on and you'd probably be much happier reading some other button.
  Most of them aren't half as depressing as this one. Don't say I didn't warn you....
• RIME has a Rush Limbaugh conference. You might be happier there.
• Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
  [Well, actually, to either of you... Ed.]...
• Being reincarnated as an answering machine is the pits.
  Keep your karma clean by leaving your name, number, message, and the time that you called....
• Rachel: Ok, uh, Billy Dreskin, Pete Carney, Barry, and uh, oh, Paolo.
  Ross: Oh yes, the weenie from Torrini. Rachel: Oh honey, are you jealous of Paolo?...
• And now it is time we were going, I to die and you to live
  but which of us has the happier prospect is unknown to anyone but God. -- Plato...
• Whaddya know? Not much, you?