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• Well, I'm disenchanted too. We're all disenchanted. -- James Thurbe
• Confidence is simply that quiet assured feeling you have before you fall flat on your face.
• You can fool too many of the people too much of the time.
  -- James Thurber (1894-1961), "The Thurber Carnival", 1945...
• Well if this is the wrong number, why did you answer it? -- James Thurbe
• I was in a bar and I walked up to a beautiful woman and said, "Do you live around here often?
  She said, "You're wearing two different-color socks....
• Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone? -- James Thurbe
• If you are a police dog, where's your badge? -- Question James Thurber used to drive his German Shepherd crazy.
• Progress was all right. Only it went on too long. -- James Thurbe
• Confidence is that wonderful feeling of self-assurance you have just before you fall flat on your face at high noon in the most public of places and in the most foolish manner possible before the largest crowd of people ever known to be in that place at that time in all recorded history.