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• You know you are in a truly small town, if the store owner sweeps the sidewalk in front of his or her place of business.
• A small town is one where there is no place to go where you shouldn't. -- Alexander Woollco
• You know you live in a really small town when: The mayor is also the police force and a bagger at the local supermarket.
• You know you're in a small town..... ...if you dial the wrong number, and talk for 15 minutes anyway.
• You know you've been hacking too long when... ...your computers have a higher street value than your car.
• Now some guys they just give up livin', And start dyin' little by little, piece by piece.
  Some guys come home from work and wash up, And go racin' in the street....
• I bought this thing for my car. You put it on your car, it sends out this little noise, so when you drive through the woods, deer won't run in front of your car.
  I installed it backwards by accident. Driving down the street with a herd of deer chasing me....
• Homer: Ooh, pro wrestling from Mexico. You know, down there, it's a &l
  eal> sport. ... Bart: Ooh, this is where Jaws eats the boat....
• There is little more frustrating that having a dollar bill machine return your dollar bill
  just after you finish the wash phase at the car wash and find that you now need money to get to the rinse phase....