Related:

• There's a lot of morons out there and this gotta be stopped.
  If you look at the death penalty--we've got to start thinning out the herd and murder might be the only way to do it....
• Do you know what happens when you slice a golf ball in half?
  Someone gets mad at you. I found this out the hard way. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• The eyes of Texas are upon you, All the livelong day
  The eyes of Texas are upon you, You cannot get away...
• You know you should be swimming when . . . You catch yourself balancing a beach ball on the end of your nose.
• I said to my old husband, "I'm gonna take you out into the country for a picnic.
  Do you like the country?" He said, "Sure I do. When I was a little boy, I used to live in the country....
• You know you've been hacking too long when... ...you go to the movies and it takes 5 minutes to get used to the flicker.
• If you don't know where you are when you get there, then this is a fairly poor place to find out that you are not where you thought you were.
• Afterlyfe.sys not found! Do you want to re-incarnate?
• You will never know until you have found out, and when you do find out, you may well wish you had not known.