Related:

• Remember Gummidge's Law and you will never be found out.
• How you know when you have run out of invisible ink?
• If you don't know where you are when you get there, then this is a fairly poor place to find out that you are not where you thought you were.
• We have the flu. I don't know if this particular strain has an official name, but if it does, it must be something like "Martian Death Flu".
  You may have had it yourself. The main symptom is that you wish you had another setting on your electric blanket, up past "HIGH", that said "ELECTROCUTION"....
• We have the flu. I don't know if this particular strain has an official name, but if it does, it must be something like "Martian Death Flu".
  You may have had it yourself. The main symptom is that you wish you had another setting on your electric blanket, up past "HIGH", that said "ELECTROCUTION"....
• Do you know what happens when you slice a golf ball in half?
  Someone gets mad at you. I found this out the hard way. -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• You may think that Americans have lost their competitive spirit, but watch what happens when a new line is opened at the check-out lane at K-Mart!
  Competition never had a better day or a finer demonstration....
• Magicians must exercise caution in all things. Each of you has heard the story of the mage who perfected the gold producing spell, only to be crushed by his newfound wealth.
  Less well known is the story of the sorcerer who turned everyone he didn't like into a toad, until the day he exercised the spell on an entire unfriendly village and was found the next morning hopped to death....