Related:

• You have reached 843-4734. Please hold while I process your call.
  (Pause.) Our extremely sophisticated computer system performed a trace on your number and was able to match it with our list of important callers....
• Thank you for calling Robert's House of Love. All of our customer service representatives are, er.
  .. busy servicing customers, so at the sound of the erotic tone, leave your name, number, and a short description of whatever turns you on....
• Gregorian chants in background; serene voice:) Hello, Brother or Sister.
  You have reached the Cubicles of Curtis, Chris, and Jim....
• You have reached the offices of the planet Zarton. All our agents are busy undermining the governments of the Earth and cannot come to phone at the moment.
  However, your name and number can be left at the tone and a representative will gladly contact you shortly to arrange for your assimilation into the new order....
• In Joe Friday voice:) This is Constable Augie of the Canadian Security and Intelligence Service.
  The phone line you have just dialed is currently under investigation on a warrant issued by the Attorney General of Canada....
• Drunken voice:) You have reached Bob's hotline. We are not able to respond due to uninevitable circumcisions.
  But if you leave your name and noomber, we won't be in wonder....
• Thank you for calling 434-2322. If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1 on your touch tone phone now.
  If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your touch tone phone now....
• Star Trek theme in the background:) (Voice 1:) Room 17, the final frontier.
  (Voice 2:) These are the messages of Chad's answering machine....
• You have reached the Suicide Prevention Hotline. All our lines are busy now, but if you leave your name and number, someone will get back to you as soon as possible.
  -- Answering machine madness - odd organizatio...