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• The only one who can tell you "you can't" is you. And you don't have to listen.
  -- Nike advertiseme...
• Quote #514 Basically, I have this theory that there are five kinds of truth.
  (This is Joe's Theory of the Five Truths.) There is the truth you tell to casual strangers and acquaintances....
• Dear Ms. Postnews: I couldn't get mail through to somebody on another site.
  What should I do? -- Eager Beaver Dear Eage...
• Marge: But you can't let a few bad experiences sour you on helping people.
  Lovejoy: Oh, sure I can. [the phone rings] [shudders] You handle it....
• Hello and Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline ** If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
  If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2....
• I can't come to the phone now, so... Hey -- that's a nice phone you have there.
  Hey sugar, you call this number often? I bet you have answering machines bothering you all the time....
• Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why.
  Then do it. -- Lazarus Long, from Robert A. Heinlein's "Time Enough For Love...
• Richard, in being so fierce toward my vampire, you were doing what you wanted to do, even though you thought it was going to hurt somebody else.
  He even told you he'd be hurt if..." "He was going to suck my blood!...
• This is a message to all the cute people in the world.
  If you are cute, if you are even beautiful, liste...