Related:

• Thank you for calling Uncle Tom's Mortuary and Delicatessen.
  You stab 'em and we slab 'em. We have specials on Mondays and Thursdays....
• Thank you for calling Robert's House of Love. All of our customer service representatives are, er.
  .. busy servicing customers, so at the sound of the erotic tone, leave your name, number, and a short description of whatever turns you on....
• Thank you for phoning the Save the Sasquatch Hotline.
  Our operators do not exist at the moment, but if you wish to make a contribution, please leave your name, number, and the amount of your bequest at the sound of the beep, and something will get back to you shortly....
• Hello! This is 1-800-PRESLEY. Yes! 1-800-PRESLEY!
  They say the King died 10 years ago, but we know he's still out there somewhere....
• Sultry female voice:) Welcome to Susan's Message Parlor of Delights.
  We would be delighted if you would leave your name, number, and of course a message that doesn't rub us the wrong way....
• You have reached the Suicide Prevention Hotline. All our lines are busy now, but if you leave your name and number, someone will get back to you as soon as possible.
  -- Answering machine madness - odd organizatio...
• Thank you for calling the Satanic Hotline. All of our operators are busy at the moment.
  If you would like, leave a brief message after the tone, and someone will get back to you....
• Demented, screechy voice; occasional background scream
  ) Hello. Thank you for calling Last Straw Chiropractic....
• In Joe Friday voice:) This is Constable Augie of the Canadian Security and Intelligence Service.
  The phone line you have just dialed is currently under investigation on a warrant issued by the Attorney General of Canada....