Related:

• I am Salemi of Borg. You will be assimilated, resistance is off topic.
• Apu: Hello. I am not interested in buying your house
  but I would like to use your rest room, flip through your magazines, rearrange your carefully shelved items and handle your food products in an unsanitary manner....
• Man #1: Champ, do you feel remorse for your crime? Tatum
  Oh, yes. Believe me, my god, if I could turn back the clock on my mother's stair-pushing, I would certainly....
• Burns: Thank you so much for visiting our plant, Dr.
  Kissinger. Henry: It was fun. Smithers: We'll let you know if your glasses turn up....
• In the Plaza Hotel once, when I was doing the quiz show, there was a priest in the elevator.
  I hope you're not offended by this--I'd tell a story about a rabbi but it doesn't fit, and neither did the rabbi and they finally threw him out of the synagogue....
• Italians: Yay, Krustys! [applauding] Vittorio: Grazie, grazie.
  You have a brought great joy to this old Italian stereotype....
• Homer: You know, son, the day you were born, I received the greatest gift a man could have.
  As the years went by, your mother and I were blessed twice more....
• Krusty: [holding a gun] Hand over all your money in a paper bag.
  Apu: Yes, yes, I know the procedure for armed robbery....
• Thank you for holding your breath while I smoke.