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• I came to a movie theater. The marquee just read: "Dyslexia: Movie The." -- Tommy Sledge
• I like the old-time diners with names like Eat. But be careful if they advertise a bottomless cup of coffee.
  You could end up with a scalded crotch. -- Tommy Sledge...
• He thought he saw an Elephant, That practiced on a fife
  He looked again, and found it was A letter from his wife....
• He thought he saw a Rattlesnake That questioned him in Greek, He looked again and found it was The Middle of Next Week.
  'The one thing I regret,' he said, 'Is that it cannot speak!...
• I was walking across a bridge one day, and i saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off.
  o i ran over and said "stop! don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?...
• I was in a convenience store. Somebody had blown a hole through every one of the Cheerios.
  It wasn't hard to figure who it was--a cereal killer. -- Tommy Sledge...
• Well I looked at my watch and it said a quarter to five, The headline screamed that I was still alive, I couldn't understand it, I thought I died last night.
  I dreamed I'd been in a border town, In a little cantina that the boys had found, I was desperate to dance, just to dig the local sounds....
• Carefull you idiot! I said across her nose, not UP it!
• A man fell off a mountain and, as he fell, saw a branch and grabbed for it.
  By superhuman effort he was able to get a precarious grip on it....