Related:

• Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.
  -- Doug Larso...
• Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, and paradise is when you have none.
  -- Doug Larso...
• Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, opulence is when you have three -- and paradise is when you have none.
  -- Doug Larso...
• Tony: I am afraid the time has come for you to pay us.
  Krusty: Look, I'm cleaned out. Just take the Clown College....
• The bugs will go away when you turn off the computer!
• You know it's going to be a bad day when: your alarm clock-radio wakes you with the words "One minute to impact.
  -- Ambidextrous Rex (Of course, you won't have to worry about getting up to go to work.)...
• QUEUE Something that supermarket supervisors obviously have no idea how to manage.
  It's tempting when you're waiting to grab a PA microphone and shout "Yes, shoppers, don't leave yet, 'cos we've got mega bargains now!...