Related:

• Why, you barfly, I'll stick a wick in your mouth and use you for an alcohol lamp!
  -- Charlie McCarthy (Edgar Bergen)...
• And here you thought your money was going to waste.
  Well, a Federal Appeals Court has ordered the FDA to determine whether drugs proposed for Lethal Injection executions are "safe and effective!...
• Do you know why the fairy sits at the top of the Xmas tree ?
  One year, Santa had one tree left over after giving everybody one, and when one of his fairy helpers asked what she should do with it, he told her....
• When prosperity comes, do not use all of it. -- Confuciu
• Gunpowder and alcohol DO mix - but it tastes awful.
• Why do people cry when they're sad?
• Why fall in love when there's better things to do?
• Why reach for the musket when the custard pie will do?
• If alcohol is bad, why are there more old drunks than old doctors?