Whiskey And Women'll Kill You. I Know. They Killed My Brother.
Whiskey and women'll kill you. I know. They killed my brother. He couldn't
get either one so he just laid down and died.
-- The Duke of Paducah (Whitey Ford)
Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress. -- The Duke of Paducah (Whitey Ford)
I see an article in the paper that says 25 percent of all men propose to their wives in an automobile.
That's like I say--more accidents happen in a car than any other way....
A lanky Texan was mad because Texas had just become the second largest state in the Union, so he made up his mind to move to Alaska.
He drove for three days and three nights to get there and finally he came to what looked like the state line....
I heard a noise in the barn the other day. I went down there.
My brother bought a new mule and he was trying to get the mule through the barn door but he couldn't get the mule through the barn door because the mule's ears was too long....
It's no sweat, Henry. Russ made it back to Bugtown before he died.
So he'll regenerate in a couple of days. It's just awful sloppy of him to get killed in the first place....
Bart: Cheer up, Mom. You can't buy publicity like that.
Thousands and thousands of people saw _your_ pretzels injuring Whitey Ford!...
Director: Your brother could be anywhere. Even ..
. Detroit. Homer: I know he could be <anywhere>, that's why I want you to narrow it down!...
The history of warfare is similarly subdivided, although here the phases are Retribution, Anticipation, and Diplomacy.
Thus: Retribution: I'm going to kill you because you killed my brother....