Related:

• MISTRESS -- something between a mister and a mattress.
• I see an article in the paper that says 25 percent of all men propose to their wives in an automobile.
  That's like I say--more accidents happen in a car than any other way....
• Whiskey and women'll kill you. I know. They killed my brother.
  He couldn't get either one so he just laid down and died. -- The Duke of Paducah (Whitey Ford)...
• Hole in the Mattress, by Mister Completely.
• Bart: Cheer up, Mom. You can't buy publicity like that.
  Thousands and thousands of people saw _your_ pretzels injuring Whitey Ford!...
• The difference between wife and mistress is the difference between night and day.
  -- Harry Hershfield...
• Bart: Oh, cheer up, Mom. You can't buy publicity like that.
  Thousands and thousands of people saw your pretzels injuring Whitey Ford....
• Announcer #1: And here come the pretzels! Marge
  Oh, no! No, don't do that! You're suppose to be _tasting_ them!...
• There is no happiness except in the realization that we have accomplished something. -- Henry Ford