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• May you spend eternity pissing your bed.
• Socialism is workable only in heaven where it isn't needed, and in hell where they've got it.
  -- Cecil Palme...
• So... so you think you can tell... heaven from hell...
• PRO: You will never have to work another day for eternity.
  CON: You will never have the opportunity to spend the money you have made over your lifetime....
• For each time you say the phrases "touch base," "networking," or "bottom line," you will spend one month in hell.
• Remember, cat heaven is mouse hell.
• Eternity has nothing to do with the hereafter... This is it.
  .. If you don't get it here, you won't get it anywhere....
• If you keep your eyes so fixed on heaven that you never look at the earth, you will stumble into hell.
  -- Austin O'Malley...
• Heaven is where the police are British, the cooks are French, the mechanics German, the lovers Italian and it's all organised by the Swiss.
  Hell is where the chefs are British, the mechanics French, the lover's Swiss, the police German and it's all organised by the Italians....