Related:

• Here's a good tip for when you go to the beach: A sand dollar may look like a nice cracker that someone left, but trust me, they don't taste like it.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• Marta said I don't seem to like to read fiction very much.
  I guess you're not an `afictionado'," she said....
• I think a good product would be "Baby Duck Hat". It's a fake baby duck, which you strap on top of your head.
  Then you go swimming underwater until you find a mommy duck and her babies, and you join them....
• Laugh, clown, laugh. This is what I tell myself whenever I dress up like Bozo.
  -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey...
• If you're a circus clown, and you have a dog that you use in your ac
  I don't think it's a good idea to also dress the dog up like a clown, because people see that and they think, "Forgive me, but that's just too much....
• When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• I Read You Like A Book: Claire Voya
• If I was a father in a waiting room, and the nurse came out and said, "Congratulations, it's a girl," I think a good gag would be to get real mad and yell, "A girl!
  ? You must have me mixed up with THAT dork!" and point to another father....
• If you see an animal and you can't tell if it's a skunk or a cat, here's a good saying to help
  Black-and-white, stinks all right. Tabby-colored, likes a fella....