Related:

• Steve has been captured by a flying saucer and can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name, phone number, and a message, I'll have him call you back as soon as he gets away.
  Read all about it in next week's National Enquirer....
• WE ARE BORG. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED.
  But we're not home right now. So leave a message at the tone, and we'll assimilate you later....
• Hello, you've reached 344-1312, the Apartment at the End of the Universe.
  Please leave your message, name and number at the sound of the tone....
• Alpha Centauri Space Station. Commander Marlin can't come to the phone right now.
  He's either saving the universe from some dread, unnamed peril, or perhaps taking a nappie....
• The machine answering this message is connected to a 5000 volt power supply, and a relay which is wired to this small kitten.
  (Sound of a kitten meowing.) If you hang up before you leave a message, it will complete the circuit and fry the kitty....
• OK, one more time... This is our answering machine.
  .. This is the message on our answering machine.....
• Bridge, Kirk here. -- Answering machine madness - science fictio
• (Darth Vader voice:) Speak, worm! -- Answering machine madness - science fictio
• Congratulations! By correctly dialing 123-4567, you have become eligible to leave a message!
  (Applause.) Join the lucky few that have advanced to the next level!...