Related:

• WAITER! there's soup in my fly!
• Diner: Waiter! There's a footprint in my breakfast.
  Waiter: Well, I don't see what the problem is. You ordered an omelet and told me to step on it!...
• Waiter, there's no fly in my soup! -- Kermit the frog
• Guest: There is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Surely not, we save those for the hamburgers!
• Waiter, there is a fly in my soup. Not for long sir, note the spider on the rim of the bowl.
• Waiter--there's a feature in my soup!
• Freddy: Hey! What the hell is this? Waiter: [French accent] It's a bowl of chowder, sir.
  ["shaudere"] Freddy: Wait a minute, come here. What did you call it?...
• Pete: Waiter, this meat is bad. Waiter: Who told you? Pete: A little swallow.
• Pardon me, waiter. I like my water diluted.