Related:

• Waiter, there's no fly in my soup! -- Kermit the frog
• Waiter, there is a fly in my soup. Not for long sir, note the spider on the rim of the bowl.
• Guest: There is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Surely not, we save those for the hamburgers!
• Waiter--there's a feature in my soup!
• Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my dessert! I know, it's the rotten fruit that attracts them.
  You should freshen up before you come in here....
• Pardon me, waiter. I like my water diluted.
• Diner: Waiter! There's a footprint in my breakfast.
  Waiter: Well, I don't see what the problem is. You ordered an omelet and told me to step on it!...
• Go! And never darken my towels again!" --Groucho Marx, "Duck Soup".