Related:

• ACADEME: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught.
  Academy: A modern school where football is taught. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• University: A modern school where football is taught.
• Monday: In Christian countries, the day after the football game.
  -- paraphrased from Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary" -- he used baseball instead...
• ACADEMY: A modern school where football is taught.
  INSTITUTE: An archaic school where football is not taught....
• Where there's a will there's a won't. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• CALUMNUS, n. A graduate of the School for Scandal. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• HARBOR, n. A place where ships taking shelter from stores are exposed to the fury of the customs.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• HASH, x. There is no definition for this word -- nobody knows what hash is.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Magpie, n.: A bird whose theivish disposition suggested to someone that it might be taught to talk.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...