Related:

• Edna: OK, it's book report time. We'll do them alphabetically.
  Today it's A through M. Bart: I'm saved!...
• Skinner: Now, Bart, son. I don't know what you think you saw .
  .. but, uh ... let me assure you... Krabappel...
• Father! Uncle Apu! A teacher was in the closet with the principal and he had as many arms as Vishnu and they were all very busy.
  -- Pahusacheta Nahasapeemapetilon, "Grade School Confidential...
• How do the Japanese do it? Because we let them.
• These opinions are mine and only mine (unless you want to claim them). -- DISCLAIMER
• Teacher: Okay. Now, everyone take out your safety pencil and a circle of paper.
  This week, I hope we can finish our work on the letter "A"....
• In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.
• There is one called Bob among them. He is mine.
• Bart: That's it, I can't take this any more, Milhouse.
  I've got to get the real teachers back....