Related:

• Hello and Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline ** If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
  If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2....
• Marge: Homey, I -- Homer: Can't talk, praying. Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me and I am thankful.
  For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is....
• Well, you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman.
  You just have to read the manual and press the right button....
• Bart: I'll take up smoking and give that up. Home
  Good for you, son. Giving up smoking is one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do....
• FUCK You've just been waiting for this definition, haven't you.
  Here is how to use the word 'fuck' in almost any conversation....
• Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me. As an offering, I present these milk and cookies.
  If you wish me to eat them instead, please give me no sign whatsoever....
• Phoebe: Monica, can I talk to you behind my menu, please.
  [Behind the menu] What are you doing? Monica: Well, I was having a conversation....
• Chandler: (entering) Hey, does anybody need anything copied?
  I'm going down to the Xerox place. Monica: Oh, no thanks....
• THINK--If you are already thinking, please disregard this button.