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• Books are not men and yet they stay alive. -- Stephen Vincent Bene
• Did you sleep well?" "No, I made a couple of mistakes." -- Stephen Wrigh
• Bart: Any luck, Dad? Homer: No, but the rabbi gave me this.
  [spins a dreidel] Bart: What is that? Homer: Son, it's called a droodel....
• Moe: [answering the phone] Flaming Moe's. Bart: Uh, yes, I'm looking for a friend of mine.
  Last name Jass. First name Hugh. Moe: Uh, hold on, I'll check....
• Did you hear What to do about fall-out, re-insert and shorten strokes.
• Homer: All right, Marge, I'll get you your nanny. And to pay for it, I'll give up the Civil War re-creation society I love so much.
  [at Moe's, everyone, including Moe, is dressed like 1800s military generals] Moe...
• The spirit of Plato dies hard. We have been unable to escape the philosophical tradition that what we can see and measure in the world is merely the superficial and imperfect representation of an underlying reality.
  -- Stephen Jay Gould, "The Mismeasure of Ma...
• You'll be a hard luck woman...baby till you find your man.
• If you want to know what a man is really like, take notice how he acts when he looses money.
  -- New England proverb...