Related:

• The net weight of your boots is proportional to the cube of the number of hours you have been on the trail.
  -- Milt Barbe...
• Barber's Laws of Backpacking 1) The integral of the gravitational potential taken around any loop trail you choose to hike always comes out positive.
  2) Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to exactly the point of most pressure....
• The difficulty of finding any given trail marker is directly proportional to the importance of the consequences of failing to find it.
  -- Milt Barbe...
• The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
• The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
  -- A. Kindsvate...
• The local density of mosquitos is inversely proportional to your remaining repellant.
  -- Milt Barbe...
• The probability of your getting lost is directly proportional to the number of times you are told, "you can't miss it.
  -- Law of Directio...
• Golf scores are directly proportional to the number of witnesses.
• The number of feet in a yard is directly proportional to the success of the barbecue.