Related:

• Who invented cottage cheese? And how did they know when they were done?
  It looks like it's already been eaten. Never buy anything you have to order by the size of its curd....
• If you come home and he's using your diaphragm for an ashtray, it's over. -- Carol Siskind
• I believe in reincarnation. I've had other lives. I know.
  I have clues. First of all, I'm exhausted. -- Carol Siskind...
• When I think of some of the men I've slept with--if they were women, I wouldn't have had lunch with them.
  -- Carol Siskind...
• To write a good love-letter you ought to begin without knowing what you mean to say, and end without knowing what you have written.
  -- Rousseau (And then when she never speaks to you again, you'll wonder why you listened to this quote....
• I can't cook. I use a smoke alarm as a timer. -- Carol Siskind
• You guys--you gain thirty pounds and we call you cuddly.
  We gain an ounce and you call us taxis. Then you don't call us at all. -- Carol Siskind...
• Have YOU seen that GIF of Carol Carmichael?
• The bad thing about getting good at jogging is that you have a long walk home when you're done for the day.