Related:

• You know it's going to be a bad day when: your alarm clock-radio wakes you with the words "One minute to impact.
  -- Ambidextrous Rex (Of course, you won't have to worry about getting up to go to work.)...
• You have to take the good with the bad.
• You know it's going to be a bad day when you want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and there aren't any.
• The trouble with jogging is that, by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back.
  -- Franklin P. Jone...
• George: [typing] And since I'd achieved all my goals as President in one term, there was no need for a second.
  The end. Hmm, good memoirs. Good, not great....
• Throw out your Walkman. Face it, you only ever used the thing when you went jogging, didn't you?
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Half-done: This is the best way to eat a kosher dill -- when it's still crunchy, light green, yet full of garlic flavor.
  The difference between this and the typical soggy dark green cucumber corpse is like the difference between life and death....
• half-done, n: This is the best way to eat a kosher dill -- when it's still crunchy, light green, yet full of garlic flavor.
  The difference between this and the typical soggy dark green cucumber corpse is like the difference between life and death....