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• Getting along with your relatives increases in direct proportion with the distance you stay away from them.
• The weight of your pack increases in direct proportion to the amount of food you consume from it.
  If you run out of food, the pack weight goes on increasing anyway. -- Milt Barbe...
• Objectivity increases in direct proportion to the distance from the problem.
• Barber's Laws of Backpacking 1) The integral of the gravitational potential taken around any loop trail you choose to hike always comes out positive.
  2) Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to exactly the point of most pressure....
• Idealism increases in direct proportion to one's distance from the problem. -- John Galsworthy
• The distance between the ticket counter and you plane is directly proportional to the weight of what you are carrying and inversely proportional to the time remaining before takeoff.
  -- Gary Witzenburg...
• The number of licorice gumballs you get out of a gumball machine increases in direct proportion to how much you hate licorice.