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• Objectivity increases in direct proportion to the distance from the problem.
• Idealism increases in direct proportion to one's distance from the problem. -- John Galsworthy
• The distance you have to park from your apartment increases in proportion to the weight of the packages you are carrying.
• The weight of your pack increases in direct proportion to the amount of food you consume from it.
  If you run out of food, the pack weight goes on increasing anyway. -- Milt Barbe...
• Barber's Laws of Backpacking 1) The integral of the gravitational potential taken around any loop trail you choose to hike always comes out positive.
  2) Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to exactly the point of most pressure....
• The number of licorice gumballs you get out of a gumball machine increases in direct proportion to how much you hate licorice.